His power developed in adolescence, just as the electronics boom was beginning. Everyone owned a computer, the were not only in every household but just about in every room, and if you couldn’t navigate the internet, you couldn’t get by in society. This particular person was quite unlucky. Or at least he thought he was.
If it was the intense electricity in the air from living by a power plant, the magnetic field his house was on growing up, or perhaps the headphones he was listening to while in the womb, mutated cells waited in his body to activate.
When he had his first computer in high school he was glued to it, staring at the monitor hours on end, his face blue with its light. This began activating the dormant cells. Instead of converting food to energy the body could use, like other cells, these made energy that emanated from his body, disrupting any electrical feed around him, usually damaging electrical devices.
While his powers were developing all electrical devices around him began to malfunction. Batteries would die suddenly, lights would burn out faster, and worst of all, his computer never lasted longer than a month.
In an age when knowledge was at your fingertips, and instantaneous was the only way, computers were key.
Nobody was considered a computer nerd anymore. If you couldn’t understand the jargon, or refused to learn, you were the outcast, the dinosaur. But he had more than the average knowledge, and more than the average skill.
After graduating high school he attempted to build his own computer. Bought all the parts separately, and they were all the best. Despite his superior knowledge and skill, his computer never lasted. It couldn’t fight against the constant bombardment of disruptive energy he emitted. Power sources died, video cards fried, hard drives became corrupted, and he became more and more frustrated, he couldn’t understand what was happening.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...well that certainly isn't a superhero origin story I have heard before, so well, this certainly does get my attention, and manages to do that pretty well actually from the style that we're going for. I can't wait to see where this manages to go here. What we have here is already managing to be pretty intriguing, certainly more than one that makes you wonder.
Ooooh well this is interesting. I don't normally see this much thought going into the biology behind how these powers although I do have to say as cool as this description here is turning out to be, I think perhaps this is making this is a little clunky in terms of the flow of the piece here to have that randomly included among the more naturally flowing parts here. I think you could perhaps find a way to fit that in a tiny bit more naturally here.
Alright well this is a bit of an abrupt ending here I must say. I think you could perhaps try and guide things to a slightly better ending. I feel like this was perhaps meant to be some sort of cliffhanger, but it just happens to fall a bit short here. Its not a bad ending, and I love the conflict that's starting here, but it could definitely do with a bit of improvement there to make it feel a bit more complete.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Not terribly innovative at the moment, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. After all, that's why so many people inspired by The Lord of the Rings (or any other huge, influential body of work) turned around and wrote similar stories and were able to become huge successes: if it worked before, it could probably work again, if done right. I'll read more if you post more!
Do you mean "they"? Not a big deal, just thought I would point that out, though.
You might want to consider revising this. It doesn't quite sound right. Maybe you should add the word "Maybe" in place of the word "If" at the beginning. It might sound better.
Nothing big here, but you could put a comma in there. While his powers were developing, all electrical devices around him began to malfunction. Like I said, nothing big. Just my personal thought, though.
Though, it does seem like you are just walking us through a little class and teaching us about him instead of telling us a story about him, it's a good concept for a story. Though the story isn't exactly my type of story, I think it has possibilities.
I don't know, I'm sure it will get better once you add some more. It just has a lack of action at the moment. That's all.
I think you can pull it off.
Write some more!
Ooo. A challenge? We shall see about this when I get back.
Meh, I don't know. The concept seems a bit... meh.
I think I would have to see the way in which the power was used before I could make my decision on whether or not I liked it. Right now, not particularily.
The writing is a bit long-winded in places.
This piece can turn into one either really good, or really terrible. It all depends on what you want to make of it.
This isn't much of a story, but I like the concept, (not so sure of the plausibility, but he's a superhero.
Maybe we can see some chapter work?
Duhm duhm duhm. Is this the story you told me about?
It's cool. There's a typo in the second sentence though.